Finally he said 'Yes, you can. Good luck!'

Already months since I'm waiting that sentence come from him. Yes, I need his permission to submit my research paper to a journal. But, I have to wait for a long time to hear that. Basically mine is not really "special" rather than my friends'. It is special but "special" term in here is related with how I make it and since when I make it.

I wrote my research since (as far as i remember) 2 years ago when I was in master degree. I used this topic for my master degree thesis and my prof ever told me that I can use the research for my qualification exam if I study PhD in this school also. Quite interesting for me because I know that if I start  a new research, only Allah knows when it will finish. hehe That's why when I decided to have my PhD in here, I felt a little bit on ease.

Suddenly in my first semester of PhD, he said to me that I have to change my research model because it's not god enough. Hmm... and I had a bad months. I have to start again from half of my research. Doing analysis again and write again. But, when I finished, I had to give the draft to several people to be checked and at last, to him. Because he is too busy to check on my email (he is a busy person and have a loooottt of email, my friend even said that he needs 2 hours everyday to read his inbox), I had to wait for several weeks until he reply. And that's...after I chat him through Line. haha My prof is so adorable, he even sent me cute sticker. LOL.

And 1 week ago after I met in the monthly lab meeting, he said to me "yes the paper is looking good, you can submit that".

I felt... RELIEVE... HAPPY.. ~( * . * )~

But, my happiness didn't last longer, because I have to submit my research paper and even I didn't know how. I started from register my name and reading the author guidance. I felt terrible... because too many mistakes I made in a single manuscript, and all of it because of my careless on references, title, names, etc.

And I started feeling ... unsure. Unsure to click "approve submission". I was afraid of everything. What if my paper rejected? what if it's not good enough? what if there are mistakes inside the paper?

The "what if" questions bugging me for a week. Resulted in frustration to read the author guidance again and again and again...never stop thinking there's something wrong in the paper... and still not yet submitted. I even called my friend who ever submit a research paper and she told me to follow what guidance said and take it easy because the first step is not the format, but the research itself.

Next question that bugging me was... "Is this research good enough?" i'm afraid that there are some other researcher already done this and published it first before me and I didn't even know that. But, I also realize that if my prof already said it can be published, I believe he knew no other researchers have ever studied this idea.

Then, I called my mom (I didn't realize she press loud-speaker button on her phone so that my dad can also hear me)... I told her that I'm afraid to submit it. What if I failed? Then she said something that I will always remember...

No one will ever ready to do something big. Have you ever ready to do your exam? Never right? But you always did a good job even if you nervous at the first place. So, don't be nervous. Shaitaan always beside person who nervous and uncertain about everything. So, check once again and Say Bismillah and recite Al-Fatihah and Al-Ikhlas, then click the submit button. After that, Allah have the best for you whatever the reason is. Pray and ask Allah for help.

That's what my mom said and can make me relieve...so that I can move on and click the submit button on journal website. Thank you Mom :*

I'm relieved and happy now... a little bit on ease because a heavy task already lifted up. But, the next thing is to wait... until I got information about the acceptance (or rejection, I hope not) I will always hope and wish that I can make it. Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...